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i’ve always been a tuesday sort of girl- except now i definatly like monday’s better.
today especially so.

Yesterday adulthood felt totally overwhelming. Today it remains to be overwhelming, but at least it is tinged with hopefulness and excitement.

snow day. officially: my workday was cut in half.
unofficially: my work tripled when i realized all that could be done with an extra 5 hours to myself.

Complacency.

Is that even what this life of mine has turned into? The word may be a poor refelction of reality, but it is what I feel. At the end of a day- or sometimes even the beginning- I come home, turn on the tv, place the computer on my lap and melt into the couch. I quietly ignore the to-do lists and the chores until they become unbareable. I even let things like sewing, writing, and long walks slip beyond the reach of my motivation. It is sad, really, even to me (the one who allows them to fade away). I am terribly unhappy about letting these things fall to the wayside, and yet I manage to do it on an almost daily basis without much thought.

Sure, I could easily blame it on exhaustion from working 25 hours at the pool and about the same at Starbucks, but I am not convinced the blame would be well placed. Part of me wishes that blame could fall to the overwhelming number of options on my mind- perhaps they paralize me? Either way, complacency riegns somehow. I fall victim or willing participant to something that I am not even enjoying: a life in which I spend too much time checked out.

I want to think and create, be productive and motivated, enjoy the quiet and the activity. I want to cease the frustration of an unremarkable day.

One step at a time, I suppose. Perhaps just considering and recognizing is enough for today.

Adulthood is complicated.

Krissy

a tea for everything

More Pictures

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