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It has been a month of silences from my end.  And, really, what is there to say? Lucas and I have settled into, what I suspect, is normal adult life in the first few years of marriage: a complicated, yet wonderful routine of working too much, being too exhausted to consider much beyond next week, and yet longing for the days we hope are ahead of us. We each picked up an extra job sometime in November bringing the total jobs between us to four. On any given day Lucas donnes his red Regal shirt and/or his blue Bestbuy shirt, while I settle into Starbucks black or a bathing suit to teach lessons at a private swim school.  For me, the decision to get a second job was complicated. Sure the money is great and I like the feeling of ending a day physically tired, but really, it all came down to needing a job that meant something. Serving coffee simply wasn’t enough to satisfy my desire to make a difference in someone’s life. COTS just sort of popped into my field of vision at the exact moment I had reached my breaking point (after having been turned down by another church), and we needed eachother. So now, as of Sunday I will be teaching my first ever unassisted classes in 30 minute segments and I couldn’t be happier. I am not sure that it is the sort of thing I can do long term, but for now it is enough and it is good.

Daily, I am discovering an odd collection of emotions wrapped up in, and likely exploited by, a tight, sometimes exhausting, schedule. Mostly, it is a feeling of extreme contentedness in today combined with a deep need for a different tomorrow. The contentedness comes from a memory of what once we did not have in our lives and knowledge of the blessing that it is now (a home together, food in our fridge, Gary… the list goes on, and I digress). The longing stems from a-long felt knowledge that, while all of this is an unpresidented blessing, we must continue to move on, to change and to grow into our callings both together and as individuals. Simply put, what we have is very good, but there will be more.

Perhaps oddest of all, lately I am feeling old beyond my years and yet left behind by my same-age friends. Interpret that as you wish without concern for my wellbeing- see above. If I had anything to complain about, I suppose it would be that there are simply not enough hours in the day to keep our little apartment as clean as I desire. And really, if that is all there is to complain about, my life is beyond good.


(lets try to keep the silence shorter this time)


a tea for everything

More Pictures

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