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For fear of sounding as though I spend considerably more time dwelling on the past than I do in reality, I want to write a little about the small victories in our lives lately. I was greatly reminded of this today as I stood in the rain-drenched archway of mailboxes opening letters and waiting for Lucas to pick me up. There, a beautifully normal-looking red envelope were three perfectly printed sheets of address labels. I know this seems like no big deal- afterall, I am pretty sure that Statefarm Insurance sends them to all of their clients. But the complimentry stickers brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my face.

We have never had labels with our names and our own place. A small victory.

I sincerely hope that these sort of things will never lose their luster- though I suspect that, eventually, the memory of years past will fade and life will go on as usual. Little things may lose their sense of joy; their sense of victory. Even lost lustre┬áis worth it if it means a life lived together in normalcy. (There is something poetic about that, isn’t there?)



Start and stop. Type and delete. Forward and reverse.

I cannot seem to write anything worthy of being posted lately. The real kicker is that I have hundreds of stories to relate to you- all just waiting for a moment of inspiration while time slips away and they become more and more insignificant. Everything seems to be too personal or too fake. Nothing really sounds like me.

I returned from my whirl-wind trip to Ontario late Tuesday evening to find myself at home. Visiting my family and friends was fantastic and refreshing, and I found the freedom from the guilt of leaving that I have been feeling since January. Life moves on without me (which I already knew) and it is okay for me to move on too.

Now I am settled back in to our little apartment with thoughts turned Christmas: our first together in years. We need to start creating traditions of our own, blending our pasts to create something together for our present and future. I currently have a myriad of web-browsers open to potential Christmas cards and other people’s traditions to consider. Any suggestions of your own? I am thinking that we might try a little of everything this year then pick and choose what sticks and what is meant for other people, but not us. We’ll see.

Off to work now… a whole other can of worms that I don’t really want to open.


a tea for everything

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